Co-Abode

Hi, my name is Carmel. This is me with my son Cooper. I'm a professional artist and early childhood educator and I believe in the idea of community support for families. I was born in County Cork, Ireland and have lived all my adult life here in the United States. I come from a large family of seven children, which may explain why the notion of child-centered education and environment has always been a passion of mine. I support the educational philosophy that teaches parents to honor and respect their children in every interaction. This attitude is reflected in my mission for CoAbode.

Like you, I am a single mom. The idea for CoAbode came out of my own experience of feeling alone and not wanting to raise my son all by myself. After my divorce, I found it hard to deal with the sudden isolation. It was like a vacuum. The idea of finding another single mom-who might feel the way I did-came to mind as I talked to other single moms and found they were dealing with the same issues I was.

I finally took action and decided to get a place big enough for two families. After interviewing 18 single moms. I found the perfect roommate for my son and myself but what about the other 17 single moms who were also looking to house share. As I went down my list, one had a three year old, another one had a two year old, and they lived in the same neighborhood. Why not introduce them to each other. they were all so thankful. While connecting these single moms, it struck me that there should be some reliable resource to help single mothers find each other. That is what we (women in general) like to do. We like to connect with each other. For us single moms in particular, connecting with someone in the same situation can make a huge improvement in our day to day lives. This is how the CoAbode service came to be.

Single moms are the people who could most benefit from a stable emotional and financial system, yet so often we go home with our children to an empty house or apartment. If the idea that 'It takes a village' has any credence, as I firmly believe it does, then connecting moms is a way to make it work. It's really not okay to raise our children alone. We humans are not built that way. We are social creatures, who need to connect with and nurture each other. Single parenting can be lonely and exhausting. It is not easy to have a life outside of work and take care of your children.

CoAbode is an attempt to provide what single moms want. We need to connect. We want to verbalize the loneliness, the fear and frustration. Through sharing our experiences we can educate each other on how to survive a broken marriage, and how to rise to the challenge of caring for our children alone. We can 'lighten our load' by helping each other out, by pooling our resources and providing each other with an understanding ear.

As the idea for CoAbode crystallized within me, I turned to my good friend Diane Vonk. Her immediate and enthusiastic response was "what a great idea". Her experience and credentials in social psychology have been invaluable along with her encouragement and support. Ultimately, we can lead the well-balanced family life we always dreamed of.